Motherhood.....

is my absolute favorite.  It is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  Seriously, this is the best full time job I have ever had.  I mean, sure, it has it's moments and there are days when I cannot wait for nap time and bed time.  But the good definitely outweighs the bad. 

Tonight I was getting Macie ready for bed and we were playing the "i'm gonna get you" game.  She LOVES this!  It's so stinkin' cute!  She gets this big grin on her face, and then waits until I'm about one foot away from her before she takes off crawling and squealing in delight.  Then she laughs and laughs when I catch her and blow a raspberry on her tummy.  

She is always so much fun at bedtime.  She is sweet, and lovable, and cuddly.  She loves to crawl around in just her diaper when I take her clothes off, and then loves it when I pull her pajamas out of her drawer.  She crawls over to me, grabs her jammies, and shoves them in her face to cuddle them (she loves her blankies equally as much)  It is so cute!  We usually play around before I get her dressed again.  Tonight, after we finished our games and her jammies were on, I picked her up to bring her downstairs to get her bottle ready and she just laid her head on my shoulder snuggled me for a good minute.  *Sigh* moments like these melt my heart.  I love that little kid so much.  It's so amazing how much love you can feel for someone, and how that love continues to grow each day.  I seriously do have the best job ever :) 

My whole life I knew that what I wanted most in life was to be a wife and mother.  I never had a desire to be a working woman, or have a career.  I knew that I wanted to spend my days raising babies. When Dallas and I got married, it didn't take long for baby fever to hit me.  We were living in California and Dallas was going to school full time while I was working full time.  We were poor, living in the slummy part of town.  Bringing a child into that lifestyle probably wasn't the smartest.  But then a lot of our friends announced that they were pregnant, and then soon after that, the girl that I worked with found out she was pregnant.  The one thing I wanted most was to have a baby of my own, and here I was surrounded by all of these expecting mothers.  It was really hard some days, especially going to work and hearing about all of the pregnancy excitement from my co-worker ( love you whit! don't worry, I wasn't mad, just jealous....:) ) Anyway, Dallas and I talked extensively about starting our family.  He was  so set on waiting until we were financially stable, and I was so set on having kids and figuring the rest out later.  But, husband knows best...At least in this situation ;)  We finally decided, and agreed, that it would be smartest to have our first child when we could financially provide for it.  And Dallas also had another check list....He wanted to have graduated school, get a job, and buy a house.  Well all of that happened and then we found out we were pregnant! (Which was only planned by me......oops.....don't worry, he got over it) I LOVED being pregnant!  My pregnancy was really easy compared to most people.  I didn't get one ounce of morning sickness and because of my awesome husband, my aches and pains were minimal.  I loved feeling her inside me and feeling her kick and move.  I loved every doctors appointment listening to her heartbeat.  I loved my growing belly..... ok, I only love it now that I don't have it anymore.  And I loved how miraculous the whole thing was.  I loved how connected I felt to my child and I could not wait to meet her.  I wanted her birth to be just as amazing.  I opted for a natural, non medicated child birth.  I wanted what was best for my baby and for me.  Labor was a challenge.  More like a trial.  But it was amazing!  I loved being so connected to my body and to what was happening during the whole process.  I loved that my amazing husband was by my side the whole time supporting me and helping me cope with the discomfort.  I can honestly look back at my 30+ hours of labor and say that it was one of the best experiences of my life and I can't wait until I can do it again.  It was divine and miraculous and beautiful.  When I saw that sweet little face for the first time, I was in love.  I have absolutely loved every minute since then of my little girl.  I loved our special bonding moments when she was so tiny and newborn.  I loved nursing her, and connecting with her that way.  Her sweet little face was straight Heaven, and I got a glimpse of the love that our Heavenly Father has for us.  Now she is older and so much fun!  She is spunky, and fire-y...?....and so dang cute!  I just love that little girl so much!  Becoming a mother finally gave me the total fulfillment that I had been looking for for so long. I know there will come a day when she grows into a teenager that she will talk back, and disobey, and scream "I HATE YOU!" as she slams her bedroom door, but I will always remember my sweet little baby girl and the special connection that just she and I share.  A bond as mother and daughter. 

When I was little my mom used to read me a book that had a little poem in it.  It went a little something like this....

"I'll love you forever

I'll like for always

As long as I'm living

My baby you'll be"

I couldn't have said it better myself.  I love you Macie Rae!